Adventurous two weeks.

This past two weeks have definitely been a rough one, but the weeks
where I learned the most. One week was about hearing God’s voice, and
another was about sin. After these past couple weeks, my life will
never be the same.
I’ve had the worst cold for over a week. So during last week between
classes I was laying on my bed listening to Jason Upton and drinking a
sprite. God kept nudging me to tell the girl next to me in the room
how beautiful she is (she truly is gorgeous). So I tell her, “Hey
*******, you are so so beautiful, so keza”. Keza means beautiful. She
smiled so big, then stopped and said, “Women tell me bad word since 6
years old, stupid, ugly, women from church and home.” I could not
believe what she was telling me. This really opened my eyes to how
other people were raised. I reassured her how special she is, how she
is a daughter to the king, how she is bright, smart, and beautiful. We
ended up sitting next to each other in class for a while, so every
time one of us wasn’t looking we would write “I love you” in the other
persons journal.  Every once in a while I hear her call me her
daughter now. That is one thing that Rwandans have in common, they are
all so loving.
The other night I had gotten a call from a friend here in Rwanda. He
had told me that this family we were working with last time I was
here, the mother had passed away. It was just the mother and 5
children. She had HIV and cancer, was strong but what made her weak
was when she did fasting with her church. Immediately after hearing
the news I went to my room, to my bed, and broke down. My friend had
seen me and started asking everyone what they did to me. After we all
talked about it, we prayed for her and her family. I was thinking
about that family the other day, wanting to go visit her and her kids.
You never know how short your life may be. That night I heard the news
was the first night I thought, “why her God, why those kids.” The
first night in forever that I cried to sleep. When waking up the next
morning I did not want to go and do my quiet time at 6am, I wanted to
sleep. But as soon as I realized why I wanted to sleep, I then threw
my blankets off and ran upstairs just to be in The Lords presence. To
feel him, to speak to him, to hear from him. It’s amazing how truly
comforting he can be. We always say God is comfort, compassionate,
loving. But until you have a situation, an experience to where you
need to feel his embrace that is when you truly believe he is all of
those things. I realized I need to have that strong faith. Not the
“yes I’m a Christian” faith, life is too short for that. I need the
“if I die, today, I know where I am going. My relationship with God is
the fullest I can fulfill it at this time.”
While having quiet time the other day outside, I was just listening
for Gods voice. Waiting on him to speak to me. I then heard birds in
the air chirping so loud. I then heard God tell me “don’t worry.” He
placed a scripture into my mind Matthew 6:25-27. “Therefore I tell
you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or
about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than
food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of
the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your
heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” I then
became calm; not knowing where you are going next in life is hard. But
knowing that your life is in the hands of the creator, now that is the
best I can ask for.
Before coming here to Africa, my sister’s boss had a dream about me
and a lion. She used to be a pastor, and usually when she has dreams
they come true. But this dream was different. She said the lion was
with me in Africa, lying next to me, but not trying to harm me only
protect me. So the other day in class, one of the staff came up to me
during worship and said,” Ashley I just had a vision of you and a
lion, I know its random but maybe it means something?” Right away I
remembered that dream my sister’s boss told me about. Immediately I
felt his protection, and realized that I am here for a purpose. I
never thought that the lord would be breaking us down like this. But I
realized he’s putting us through all these things to qualify us for
the next level. (Like the no running water, toilets, or showers lol).
I am becoming such a changed person only after being here for four
weeks.
I was able to encounter The Lord at the weakest point in my spirit,
and I am so thankful for the new friends I have here at the base that
feel more like family.
Philippians 4:8,”Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is
noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think
about such things.”